thefeministwriterwhogoesmeh

Date: July 6th, 2020

Time: around 1:00 p.m. in the afternoon

Dear for-the-time-being-diary,

It’s doomsday (I’m not even religious, how-). There has been a corona case detected in our housing society, and thoughts such as – OMG. Did I sit on a surface that that person sat on? Did that guy cough on a surface that I might’ve accidentally touched? OMG. Am I even clean? Should I take a bath again? – immediately entered my prone mind. My breathing rate increased, and a person learned in the well respected subject of biology would say my adrenaline levels might’ve escalated (that fight or flight thingy).

One could say that I was having a full blown panic attack (that is, until my mommy calmed me down).

Time: around 4:00 p.m.

Dear for-the-time-being-diary,

I learnt a few things. And since I’ve had time to contemplate them, I’ve also started appreciating some of ‘em. For one, I’ve learned that there are many benefits to living in a society as close knit as mine. Everyone is so responsible about the decisions that they take, because they remember their contribution to society at times like these. Another: I’ve also noticed that there are a few different levels of society that I am respectively a part of. I am a part of Pune. Then, I am a part of my rather large housing society. Then, I belong to my building; and finally, to the floor I live on. 

I have responsibilities to all these levels of society. 

I have to keep myself safe, not just for the sake of my family, but also for the sake of all those people that belong to my society. When I feel deprived of going down to take some fresh air, I must restrain myself because at this time, the responsible thing to do is to stay at home and breathe in the fresh air that comes into my not-so-small balcony. Frankly, it isn’t so bad. And frankly, during these difficult times, my responsibilities are defined by small things like deciding whether to go down to walk for a bit or not. I must consider the feelings of those who are just as concerned about mine and my family’s health as they are about theirs; and if they feel insecure that I feel the need to go downstairs for no reason in particular, then I mustn’t go down. Such philosophical observations you have, Mugdha. Go take a break. Study a bit, ‘cause you barely ever do it. Oops.

Date: July 7th, 2020

Time: 7:00 a.m.

Dear for-the-time-being-diary,

Did I mention that I was getting sixteen books for my sixteenth birthday? How cool is that, right? Well, some of the books have started arriving, and I have greedily started reading Go Set a Watchman, by Harper Lee. So far, I haven’t read much of it and frankly, I prefer the first ‘un (To Kill a Mockingbird, also by Harper Lee). 

Time: 1:00 p.m. 

Dear for-the-time-being-diary,

UGH. The internet has gone out, again. I won’t be able to attend my last class, so I might as well go read some.

Time: 3:00 p.m.

Dear for-the-time-being-diary,

HOLY GUACAMOLE. WHAT A BRILLIANT BOOK. 

(And here comes a short book review on the beyond-excellence book I have just finished reading-)

Title of the book: Go Set a Watchman

Author: Harper Lee

This book has many complexities, one of them being the many different things that the author tries to convey. Of course, there is the general setup of the racial tensions that plague the quiet county of Maycomb, Alabama. However, I found most prominent the internal findings of Jean Louise. She learnt that nothing could be perfect; in the steady trap of society, one must try their best to fit in with the social order and go with the flow, however ‘shutting-out’ and wrong it may be. Her complex relation with her father escalates due to a misunderstanding; she would equate her father with God. She couldn’t handle the fact that he could make mistakes too; he was only human. These are all the technicalities of the book. 

But what I find so brilliant about this book is that it shows us that life isn’t a perfect combination of blacks and whites – there are always some grays in between. No one is ever perfectly good or perfectly bad, some excel at things others don’t, and fail at other things. I can’t just whip my opinion of someone around ‘cause they failed to exceed an expectation that I had of them. Nothing is ever perfect, and that is a necessity to understand. 

Mankind isn’t as bad as some of us perceive (and don’t any of you gimme none of that ‘humans have made such great technological advances’ and such). The problem is that, when one tries to perceive humanity in situations such as the one that we are currently entrapped within, we fail to look at the positive side of things. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. For every person who lost their belief in life, for every person who turned bitter at crimes that some committed, there has been another person doing even more positive work, helping out the ones who need it most, or even abiding by their correct responsibilities to their respective society. 

I say that it is necessary to look at both sides of the coin. I will not lose my faith in humanity, because humanity isn’t just represented by that shoddy branch of people who think that their lives and their wants are top priority. Humanity is an equivocal identity; humanity is equally defined by those who shatter the world, and those who try their level best to glue it (or whatever is left of it) back together. 

(Isn’t this random? I think I’ll stop now.)